The 5 Key Qualities Of A Good Relationship

5 key qualities of healthy relationships

There has got to be a difference between couples who walk hand-in-hand and those who keep arguing on the sidewalk.

However, the truth in the street of life is that any couple can walk into a dead-end alley.

Worry not!

As long as you remain cautious of the characteristics of unhealthy relationships, you can always navigate your way to romantic cafes.

It also helps to know the 3 most important things in a relationship that bring you closer to your partner.  

Important characteristics of healthy relationships

The characteristics of healthy relationships include trust, communication, respect, forgiveness, and honesty. Yes, these traits can be the signs of a happy relationship but they are not necessarily the reason. What is the most powerful emotion that makes a relationship healthy? It is the feeling of secure attachment. To cultivate secure attachment you must learn to find your security within and express your emotions freely. In essence, prepare yourself to be vulnerable. Sounds scary? Remember, relationships are a team sport. You have a partner to work with. But before you play on the court, a training session is in order! You can meet your partner’s emotional needs when you know how to fulfill your own.

Characteristics of unhealthy relationships

Sometimes prevention is better than cure. 

Watch out for these characteristics of unhealthy relationships.

When you notice these traits in your partner (or yourself), don’t let your morale down.

Instead, think of it as an opportunity to engage in a deep, heartfelt conversation.  

What if I tell you that you too can have that made-in-heaven kinda secure relationship?

Disrespect

If we were asked to pick: what is the most powerful emotion that can break someone’s trust?

Humiliation would be among the top contenders.

Although the us-against-the-world mentality could do some harm at times, it is not completely baseless.

Your partner is your support. They are supposed to have your back.

But if you spend time mocking each other there will be no mutual respect between you two.

Without respect, building trust is difficult.

Dishonesty

Not everyone’s life is an open book.

You and your partner both have a right to privacy.

However, when it comes to issues that affect you as a couple and not as individuals, transparency is necessary.

As mentioned earlier, a relationship is a team sport.

When you get caught lying it deals a heavy blow to your partner’s trust.

Regardless of how harmless the lie may be, it leaves an impression that you cannot be completely relied on. 

Control

Every dog has its day, so to say 🙂

Sometimes it’s your way, sometimes your partner’s.

Both get to lead once in a while. For the most part, however, it is a partnership.

Yes, there are relationships where one partner chooses to lead and the other happily takes the backseat.

But such an arrangement works well only when it’s consensual.

If one takes charge of all important decisions against the wishes of the other, the relationship dynamic becomes imbalanced.

In extreme cases, a partner can be very controlling and jealous. They may even try to isolate their partner from their friends and family. 

Dependence

Here is another variation of an imbalanced relationship dynamic: one partner relies completely on the other to do the heavy lifting.

Such partners can be needy and clingy, putting unnecessary pressure on their counterparts. 

They may even suffer from abandonment issues.

If their partner wants to end the relationship, they might threaten to do something drastic, discouraging the partner from leaving. 

Violence

What is the strongest emotion that can completely break a relationship? It could be the feeling of pure wrath. 

Violence can start with verbal threats and intimidation tactics but can snowball into physical and sexual harassment if not dealt with.

Research claims that violence is a learned behavior. So its treatment warrants professional help. 

5 important elements of a great relationship

Acknowledging and apologizing for your mistakes can be beneficial to relationships, but it is easier said than done.

If you think about it, the qualities of a good relationship are similar to the qualities that make a decent human being. 

While you learn about the traits of a great relationship with your partner, ensure to apply them to yourself as well. 

Communication

From thoughts and opinions to emotions, the ability to effectively communicate what’s on your mind is very important.

If you are angry at them, try to first process your anger in a healthy manner so you can communicate it to your partner in a constructive, effective way instead of shouting at each other.

Listening is as important as talking.

Learn to listen to each other being aware of your judgments or preconceived notions.

Sometimes your partner will need their feelings to be validated – this is a basic human need – to be understood by those we love.

You may not agree with their point of view – and that is okay – but it’s important to learn how to see our partners’ deepest needs and desires so they feel seen and understood.

If you’re looking for a framework to express your emotions and improve your communication skills in your relationships:

Marshall B. Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (amazon affiliate link) has been a life savior for me.

It transformed the way I thought about relationships and communication.

Honesty

Being honest goes beyond stating what’s on your mind.

It also includes expressing what’s in your heart, feelings that you are afraid to share.

Vulnerability helps you get closer to your partner. 

Try to maintain transparency as much as is wise, which should definitely include topics that concern both of you as a couple. 

Respect

The decisions you make as a couple should be consensual. After all, you are on the same team, aren’t you?

Respecting someone means believing they are not inferior to you and that their choices and preferences matter as much as yours.

In case of a clash of interests talk it out and try to find a middle ground.

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Intimacy

Physical intimacy can reflect how strong your bond is.

Research supports this notion: that sexual satisfaction is a marker of a happy relationship.

When you share romantic and physical desires with your significant other it allows you to unwind and be yourself.

For your partner, it can be an opportunity to experiment!

Trust

To feel secure with your partner, you need to trust them.

None of the above-mentioned elements would work without trust. 

You might hesitate to share your vulnerable sentiments if you don’t feel confident in your partner’s capacity to hold a safe space for you.

So how do you build trust?

The 3 most important things in a relationship

The amount of trust you have in a person depends on how securely attached you feel to them, and within yourself.

To build a secure attachment, you need to follow this 3-step process:

  • Conflict resolution: When there is conflict, ensure you work towards repair after the conflict, and provide comfort in moments of stress during the conflict. Think of fights as an opportunity to grow together.
  • Mutual understanding: Let compassion be your driving force. When trying to be understood, also pay attention to what your partner is communicating – understand them.
  • Fulfilling needs: By understanding each others’ needs you can begin to truly fulfill each other. The relationship will flourish if it is symbiotic.

With this 3-step secure attachment process, you can cultivate the key traits that lead to a happy relationship. 

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Conclusion

  • The 3 most important things in a relationship: Repair post conflicts and providing comfort, mutual respect, and need fulfillment are the most important things in relationships.
  • Characteristics of healthy relationships: Trust, intimacy, honesty, respect, and communication are important traits of a happy relationship.
  • Characteristics of unhealthy relationships: Control, dependence, dishonesty, disrespect, and violence are signs of a damaged relationship. 

Hopefully, this article sheds some light on your understanding of the key qualities of a good relationship. 

What is the strongest emotion or trait that can build a relationship? How many positive traits do you see in yours?

I’d love to hear your views in the comments below.

P.S. Can relationships heal old wounds? Find out in Can You Heal Past Traumas In A Relationship?

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2 Comments

  1. I do not even know how I ended up here but I thought this post was great I dont know who you are but definitely youre going to a famous blogger if you arent already Cheers.

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