Hello and welcome!

My name is Shobhali, founder of Depth Seekers. I live life at this beautiful, powerful nexus of coaching, therapeutic modalities, & spirituality, as an Inner-Work Guide.

For the last decade-plus, I’ve been in the space of “inner work” – the work of knowing oneself – and have traversed the inner-world landscape as a coach, therapeutic practitioner, yoga & meditation teacher, & spiritual guide.

Here are some of the core spaces that have aided my learning & growth.

Over the last 12 years – I’ve not only guided several Indian-origin *AFABs (women+LGBTQ+) traversing their inner worlds of emotions, beliefs, stories, traumas, & repetitive patterns – I’ve also gone deeper into myself, peeling off multiple layers of my conditioning, fears, & limiting ways of being.

*What’s AFAB?

AFAB stands for Assigned Female At Birth. Anyone born in the female body, whether they identify as cisgender women or LGBTQ+, is included in AFAB.

Is this how I always was?

Put Together

I must look “nice”. Pretty, not sexy. Demure, not fierce.
I must look “good”, but not stand out from the crowd.
I strived to be “sorted” for a long time!

A Statement

It took me a while to start owning my style: second-hand/ very old clothes that I’ve given a second life to through DIY tricks; owning my own skin, owning my broader value of minimalism, unabashedly.

In short, no, this isn’t who I always was!

I didn’t even know who I truly was for the longest time. Like everyone else, I believed I was my strengths and weaknesses, or my values and beliefs. And yes, in some ways I was those things – they had conditioned Me to be a conditioned me. Not me.

Was I just brought up differently?

“No-Less-Than Any Man!”

That’s how I was brought up. Like many other Indian-origin Women + LGBTQ+ assigned female at birth, I was brought up with explicit patriarchy in the society, and implicit patriarchy at home.

Own The World

I should be logical, practical, decisive, competitive, assertive, independent, strong, able to fend for myself, lead, & restrain my emotions – not cry like a girl!

But Also

I should be empathetic, nurturing, collaborative, adaptive, sensitive, caring, and patient, get married, adjust to my “new family”, be “nice”, cook & clean, and have children!

Like many of us, I was brought up in contradictions!

We live in a masculine world – one that rewards logic, structure, organization, and aggressive strategies. So that’s what I strived towards, and in many ways perfected.

Masculine and feminine are both equally important for any balanced system. Back in the day, while the “men” played the masculine, the “women” happily took on the feminine.

But what happens when everyone wants the masculine and the feminine is shunned? Discontentment, frustration, confusion, and unhappiness begin to fester.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying we should go back to the “back in the day” times. I’m saying, in today’s world, more than ever, each one of us, regardless of our identities, needs to cultivate a healthy balance of both – the masculine and the feminine.

I was assigned female at birth and brought up as not less than male. Unconsciously, for most of my life, I was striving towards an unfavorable goal – to become “no less than any man”.

Did I come with certain traits?

I have always felt emotions

more intensely than most others.

What this meant was:

  • I could experience and appreciate life’s beauty more than others – I could be high on life!
  • I could feel love and passion easily, and could preserve hope and possibility!
  • I could enjoy myself to the fullest – letting my hair down, being without a care in the world!

What this also meant was:

  • I could hurt easily and take on other people’s pain and suffering as mine.
  • I could be wounded by deep-core wounds of rejection and abandonment.
  • I could fluctuate with emotions not being able to get a grip on their flow.

My 3 Decades Of Emotional Struggles

I’m now in my 4th decade of life, and while in the first three decades, I did well in the external world with college and work accomplishments in my bag, I struggled with my emotions for about the first 30 years of my life!

Looking back, I can tell you now that I struggled for those 30-odd years, but back then I thought it was the only way to live life – tough it out | sort it out | fix it | and control it – and so I did exactly that for a long time!

The Good Girl

Chubby cheeks, dimpled chin
Rosy lips, teeth within
Curly hair, very fair
Eyes are blue – lovely too
Teacher’s pet, is that you?
Yes, Yes, Yes!”

That was me! For about the first 8-10 years of my life, I did exactly what I was told, didn’t ask too many questions, didn’t create trouble for anyone, sorted out my own stuff, was on top of my school work – well behaved, disciplined, no fuss!

What I didn’t know then, and can’t un-know now, is that I was deprived of emotional connection as my primary caregiver was a strict teacher to me who continually kept correcting everything I did, rather than being an unconditionally loving parent.

I don’t hold this against her now, she did the best she could – we both did, my mother and I. She definitely had the best intentions for me in her heart.

However, as a young child, I remember knowing I must be loved, and yet never ever feeling loved.

Even now when I recall, I can see the 5-6-year-old child-me standing all alone, sad, ashamed, feeling like she must be a bad child and perplexed at not knowing how to fix it.

The Rebellious Teen

At some point around my preteens, something within me shifted.

Something that I today understand to be my Teen-Protective parts, who began to rebel to protect the child within me that wasn’t seen/ heard/ understood, & was hurting with the belief that there was something wrong with her, that she wasn’t enough to be loved & seen as she was.

Of course, I didn’t understand all this back then.

And so this phase brought along with it umpteen arguments with my mother, self-harming behavior, anger-guilt-shame cycles, & a lot of pain and helplessness as I went through the various transitions of my teenage years.

Often I felt like no one loved me, or cared for me. On various occasions, I would plan to run away from home!

This period also introduced eating binges, rigid dieting, body image issues, difficulty controlling emotions like anger, and inability to express emotions like appreciation & love.

The Go-Getter Adult

Throughout all this, I ensured I was doing all that was needed to do well in school & at work.

I was good at whatever I did. Usually, a solo player because others were too slow for me!

I achieved whatever I set my mind to – because of course, that’s what strong, logical people do.

Anything that didn’t work – I’d either aggress my way through it or start believing that it was either not important or not worth my time or it didn’t matter to me (that I didn’t care about it).

Life was great – or at least it looked great on the outside. Most people around me thought of me as someone who was sorted. Heck, I thought I was that someone!

And then, a portal opened up!

My one thing keeping me secure – my long-term relationship – ended.


In general, everything that happens in life can be a teacher, however, there are certain events in our life that open up a portal of sorts – a portal, that if you choose to enter can take you to a whole different level of understanding life!

These events also tend to be traumatic. In fact, it is because they are traumatic that we are compelled to enter the portal which leads one way or another – to stuckness, or to our greater evolution.

For a long time, I was stuck – repeating patterns.

I’d have bouts of anger & emotional shutdowns, avoidance, and distance – if there’s enough distance, there’s not much scope to get hurt.

I tried various things for many years, almost a decade – self-development workshops, courses, coaching, therapy, books, and self-work, amongst others.

In fact, as you already know, I also trained to become a coach – those who need the saving usually become the saviors in the hope of somehow saving themselves.

Some things clicked, some things made sense, many things added value to me, and yet, something remained missing.


I’d move out of it, and think, “I got it now,” only to realize after a while that I didn’t “got it”! I spent a good many years repeating my ways of being in relationships with others and myself.

I had difficulty managing and regulating intense emotions, leading to frequent emotional overwhelm and outbursts as I struggled to identify the underlying triggers and causes of my emotional distress, leading to a sense of confusion and self-doubt.

I felt disconnected from my own emotions and inner self and battled with feelings of inadequacy and self-criticism despite external success and achievements.

My unresolved past traumas continued to affect my emotional well-being and relationships.

I felt like no one could understand what I was going through.

I was nearing my 30s and navigating cultural expectations and societal pressures of marriage began to contribute to my feeling disconnected.

I also began experiencing a disconnect between my external accomplishments and my internal sense of fulfillment, leading to a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction.

What changed, and how?

By my early 30s, I had done a lot of work around strengths, mindsets, values, and beliefs.

I also explored different alternative paths to healing – arts, body-based work, meditation, etc.

All of these added a drop at a time, bit by bit.

Things truly changed when…

I bumped into non-dual wisdom practices – rooted in ancient spiritual traditions, like Advaita Vedanta, Tantra, Tibetan Buddhism, Sufism, and Shamanism.

That is when…

Everything came together and made perfect sense to me for the first time in my life.

That is when I understood how to be in this world as if a child’s play and continually grow & evolve into the ever-expansive being that I’ve always been.

That we’ve all always been.

That is when I truly began to understand who I am, and how life works at the subtle, invisible, yet most crucial, levels.

That is when my emotional pain and struggles began to dissolve, and my life truly shifted.

Where, and how, am I today?

Connected within
A sense of undisturbed Joy
Grounded, Content, Wise
A sacred desire to continually
Grow & Evolve

The work I do today is a part of my own growth and evolution: The more I learn, grow, & evolve, the more my work grows & evolves. The more my work grows & evolves, the more I learn, grow & evolve.

I know, from my own experience, and that of those I have had the pleasure to work with, that there is a way out of emotional overwhelm, anger-guilt-shame cycles, anxiety, imposter syndrome, self-doubts & confusion.

I know that there is a way – a clear way – to let the portal take us toward healing, growth, & evolution instead of stuckness, repetition, and hurt.

And that’s why I do what I do!

I guide Indian-origin people assigned female at birth (Women + LGBTQ+) to
move out of their emotional struggles and move into their inner emotional wisdom:
understand themselves and their actions (and reactions) better, and figure out how to
BE THEM, so that they’re able to enjoy fulfilling relationships, engage in meaningful work,
and continually grow & evolve in their inner & outer worlds.

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