Is It Anxiety Or The Wrong Relationship?

What is the most powerful emotion that we can experience? Do you think it is love? 

Even if it is only to impress the one we fancy, love is powerful, bringing out the best in us!

But all star-crossed lovers tell tales of love’s destructive edge.

When the emotional needs of your partner are ignored, love turns to resentment, and butterflies grow stingers to prick your heart. 

Everything is fine you say. Then why are you anxious about your partner? Can you learn how to stop intrusive thoughts about relationships?

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Is it Anxiety? Wrong relationship? Or am I not in love?!

Where there is love, there could be a fear of losing it. Thinking about the problems in your relationship is natural. Sometimes, you’ll be worried about where your relationship is headed. This worrying can be beneficial as it motivates you to take better care of each other. Relationship anxiety, on the other hand, does more harm than good. Before a self-diagnosis, assess your relationship objectively first. Are you two compatible? Does your partner seem happy with you? Are you happy with them? If yes, but you frequently worry that your partner will leave you, then it may be a sign of deeper issues. Don’t throw in the towel yet! We can identify the issues and learn how to stop intrusive thoughts about relationships.

Is it relationship anxiety or incompatibility?

Security is one of the most important things we seek in our relationships. Returning home to our safe space after dealing with the blows of daily life is what we all look forward to. 

Now imagine you had to deal with a different kind of anxiety at home. Your boss gives you a tough time at the office but now you must tackle another adversary.

This is where you should ask yourself: Am I in a happy relationship?

Sometimes, compatibility is an issue and it prevents you from fully trusting your partner. This lack of faith could be making you anxious. 

What is the strongest emotion you feel around your partner? 

Signs of incompatibility 

Compatibility leads to bonding, which is essential to meet the emotional needs of your partner.

To find out if you are incompatible with your partner, look for these signs: 

• You barely share any common interests with your partner.
• Either or both of you prefer spending more time with friends than each other. 
• You argue a lot, with neither party willing to step down.
• There is little to no sex between you two.
• You feel like you cannot be your true self around each other.
• Neither of you sees a clear future with each other. 
• And more

In case the signs mentioned above apply to you, your anxiety might be organic.

The solution here revolves more around fixing the relationship than solely on your habit of being anxious. 

Relationship anxiety symptoms

Suppose you have a lot of fun with your partner. There are activities you perform together, secrets you trust each other with, and even make plans for the future together. 

Your partner seems to be happy with you, yet you fear they might break up anytime. If this is true you might be suffering from relationship anxiety. 

To be sure, look for these symptoms:

• You are afraid to commit or be vulnerable.
• Communicating your feelings is a challenge.
• Even if your partner can meet your emotional needs, you don’t express your needs openly. 
• You avoid arguments because you fear you might upset your partner, and they might leave you.
• Even if your partner does nice things, you doubt their motives.
• You suffer from low self-esteem, thinking you are not good enough for your partner.
• You are often jealous and need frequent validation from your partner.

Is my anxiety ruining my relationship?

So now you know whether you have relationship anxiety or not. 

Before we proceed any further, please note that this article is just a guide. It is in no way a professional diagnosis.

Relationship anxiety, Relationship OCD, and other such conditions may need professional intervention. 

Having said that, if you wonder, “Is my anxiety making me doubt my relationship?” the answer is: yes!

When you constantly doubt the intentions and actions of your partner, you will never trust them. Imagine how frustrating it would be in the long term!

By the way, one of my all-time favorite books, that changed the way I thought about love – Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (amazon affiliate link) – can greatly help you learn to speak and understand your partner’s love language to truly feel loved.

If your partner doesn’t feel trustworthy, they will not feel safe with you. Initially, they may try harder, thinking they need to work on their inadequacy.

But eventually, they will realize it is you who is paranoid regardless of how many times they reassure you.  

Fortunately, you can learn how to stop intrusive thoughts about relationships. What is the most powerful emotion, if not love, and what is love worth if not without a challenge?

How to stop intrusive thoughts about your relationship

Understanding the proper steps of how to stop intrusive thoughts about relationships can relieve relationship anxiety.

Understand your feelings

It can be scary to sit with your emotions, attempting to understand why you feel the way you do.

This is, however, very important. You need to look deep within and discover the emotional scars that give you trust issues.

Mindfulness

The art of mindfulness teaches us to be present in the moment. Maybe take a course in mindfulness-based meditation. It will reduce your anxiety by making you aware of what’s in front of you.

P.S. Thich Nhat Hanh has been one of my favorite people for a long time! He was nominated by Martin Luther King, Jr. for a Nobel Peace Prize, was a Zen master, and a leading source of wisdom, peace, compassion, and comfort.

His book The Miracle of Mindfulness (amazon affiliate link) is the perfect introduction to mindfulness and would be a great read if you’re looking to develop your skill & practice of mindfulness.

Communication

Let your partner know how you feel. They may not offer solutions but they can lend their support, providing you with a healing space so you can do the necessary inner work.

Inculcate patience

Old habits die hard, so don’t expect any overnight miracles. Practice slowly, one thought at a time. It is less about controlling your thoughts and more about how you respond to them.

All your work will compound into noticeable results soon.

Seek support and guidance

Comprehending your emotions and discovering their roots can be easier said than done.

Under the guidance of a professional – an experienced coach, therapist, or guide – you can learn how to work with these issues most effectively.

P.S. If you’re ready, Rooted In Chaos is for you if you are not just looking for superficial solutions but are ready to dive deep into your emotional and relational complexities.

Find out more about Rooted In Chaos to see if it’s what you might need right now.

Conclusion

• What is relationship anxiety: Feeling anxious that your partner will leave you even if everything in the relationship appears to be smooth. 
• Looking for compatibility issues: Check for incompatibility (like lack of similar interests, trust, and communication) before assuming you have relationship anxiety.
• Resolving relationship anxiety: Talk to your partner, practice mindfulness, understand your emotions, and get professional help. 

We hope you now have some tips on how to stop intrusive thoughts about relationships.   

Does anxiety prevent the emotional needs of a woman from being met? What is the strongest emotion besides anxiety that can ruin a relationship?

Please share your views in the comments below!

Sometimes we make ourselves anxious by being too self-critical. Find out why in The Toxic Inner Critic: Why Is My Inner Critic So Harsh?